so you would think that since i have even less of a life now that school's out and my job ended that i would write here even more often than i did. but no, i dont. i dunno. im attempting to change my email, though i cannot decide what to switch it to.basically i wrote down like my favourite words and tried to mix and match but half of em suck and the other half i have no idea because i can never decide on anything. grrr. so if anyone reads this and has input ...yeah. though no one reads this, but o well.

mattymatt still isnt talking to me. well, hes in jail, but still, cant you write letters? that whole schpeel is still freaking me out a bit cause best friend *boom* hates me. eep! ya know? i miss him, he was like my bro. and im doing my summer homework, read 4 books and write 4 papers for strausser's class. so lots of stress. and i still dont have my freaking transcript. i think i am going to stop by treknorth and harass them again. cause then i need to fix my classes at bhs one i have it.

other than the stress and i need to clean out my room and go through crap, life is fairly boring. there's a chance that i go to ny for a week or two, or visit my auntie judy. and i have to visit colleges, particularily ndsu *crosses fingers and toes!*. but yeah. im a senior now. and soon ill be 18. eep! im still eeping over those, though considerably less so than before. i think ill try and talk to my uncle cause hes an architect. architecture seems so cool now, im considering it as a major or minor. i still love anthro though, but i dont know what to do with it. and interior design too. cause more than anything i want my dream house, but the problem is that since its my dream house i am going to need alot of something which i dont have much of- money. cause damn it, apparently you need multitudes of the stuff to have a 3-story-plus-a-basement-and-an-attic victorian style house. and the fact that i want to live on the ocean doesnt help much. like the house in the movie practical magic. almost exactly, although i have house plans from 7th grade pre-algebra. we had to design our dream house for that class, and i still want the one i did. i dream so much about the future, its kinda odders. contrary to what i used to say, ive always wanted the whole shebang. i want to get married in my early-mid 20's, i want like 3 kids, a flower garden, 8 cats at least, a few doggies, a willow tree, an apple orchard so i can eat organic ones ( i cant otherwise due to allergies to pesticides), and etc. im a really good wedding planner, i have like zillions of ideas, not ness. for my own but just in general. i love looking at the wedding magazines and stuff. probably because i have an obsession with pretty things- i love em. and i used to design clothes, so i like looking at the dresses for ideas and such, and there are flowers, and lighting. i like designing things and planning things. im so damn traditional in like home-family ways. well comparitively to what i used to say. i used to say that i never want to get married or have kids. but, ya know, i did, i was just scared. damn middle school for encouraging a person to be who they arent. merff

anyways, i think im going to try and ride a horse tomorrow. i used to love it, but now im like petrified to do it, ever since the whole jessie can fly!!!!....crap! no i cant! aaa!!!!! *crash* thing. and i need to find someone to help me look at cars, considering all i know ill look for is prettyness and music. i dont know what anything else means, and i have a tendancy to only look at the prettiness factor. so i need someone there who knows at least a little something about cars. i know how to fill up the gas tank and put in windshield wiper fluid. and i have vauge ideas about changing a tire * thank you silas!!!*.  so yeah, need to do that. and do the college stuff, and clean and stuff. and i need a job. and dammit i really want to work at vanity! im friendly! and i have fashion sense, i am a mallrat. and i design clothes, and am beginning to sew. o! i need to remember about sewing pants into a skirt. thatd be cool, and ive been wanting to for a while, i just havent.