i feel really empty......and the feeling wont go away no matter what i do. am i a bad person? is that it? i know most people dont like me. and the others just dont care. i keep wondering why im still here, when its so obvious that i shouldnt have held on, that i should have given up long ago. matty said that there's really no point, that people would just forget him in a week or so. i dont think people would care for even any more than a few hours for me. .....i had one person that truely cared, and who loved me for me. but then i lost him. and theres nothing i can do. he saw me for me i guess. o well. it might not even matter soon. i might be forgotten soon......i want the hurt to go away.....lol, like in charmed where leo takes pipers hurt away.....i feel worse than that, and even more so because he never wants to see me again. ......."you make me feel like i am real again"......good quote.

whenever i do leave.....will anyone even notice? much less care? probably nothing. im not worth anything, so what would be the point? i cant even explain things. i just need someone to go to. who i can count on. i just need someone to wrap me up in their arms. but thats never going to happen. if i do snap out of this, i can guarentee one thing. ill never let myself love anyone or anything again. love is hell. but its not. there is no such thing as love.