ok, so i lied, im not writing when im in the skanky black dress. o well, ya'll will just have to live with that.
so today was pretty fun. besides the whole cleaning for hours and hours this morning....funnnn...... but then i went to bhsIN THE SKANKY BLACK DRESS!!! moo-ie-hahahahahaa!!! technically not skanky but it kinda is , cause its hard to sit in. and very, very cold. perhaps i should take a poll on the skanky-ness factor. so you can if you want. im too lazy. but yeah. saw craig and his pants o awesome-ness, as well as silas, tammy, nikki, and all of the other kick-arse play folk. yep, folk o the play. it was rockin.
anyways, then tammy,jesse,erin,nikki,ryan and i went to burger king. their chicken sanwich is alright, but has some gross sauce on it, and i think the combo of that and the french fries made me kinda nauseous. milkshake and all.....urg. im gonna steer clear of fast food for a while i think.

again with the anyway, we then went to tammy's house, being that it was her party, and from there went trick or treating. pretty damn cool. and its me! the chick with no life! or not much of one.

so yeah. nothing much else, really. if any of my friends read this , you should come here tomorrow! otherwise i would be very very sad. (sniffle!*). the death of my happiness forever! would you want to be the cause? ....ok, done guilt-tripping. not that anyone really cares, but i can try. hmmmm.....i need topics to write about. o! fyi, putting on eye makeup is a damn weird feeling! oy freakin vey!. sheeshkabeesh even! zoinks! jinkies! zort! narf! egad brain!......ok, so maybe i watch a bit too many cartoons, so sue me.

im thinking i need a life. or something. or a clue. or just having all my confusion melt away with magic. damn. my room is creepy-empty without my desk. oy!

o!!!! luck to all the people who are taking the sat's tomorrow morning ( roy, craig) . many hugs and such

love and flowers to all! and to all a good night.

-zhanna

(o yeah, so im thinking that my titles will from now on just be totally awesomeness songs. hahahahaheehee......hehe.....im kooky)

so yeah.....treknorth schedule is totally screwy this week, on account of the nwea testing. so i dont think im going to have a chance to go to art- aaiiiieee!!!! damn. i need to buy a portfolio for that, and finish my book AND finish my box. woohoo. note the excitement.......note the insanely high level of sarcasm......

so, this morning i am very cheery for some odd reason that i don't know, and im also very out of it....cause im tired......cause its 8:30 in the morning. and i got up at 6:00am. i dont know what to type, as usual. o! so i just found out that my friend lacey might have been involved in an accident this morning, and a treknorther was definately involved because abby said all the teachers were late this mornin because of it....yeah.so now emily was in it also. but apparently they are okay. ill write l8r. when im in my skanky black dress.!!!!!!

-zhannichka

nearly just puked. that would have been veryvery bad. icky taste. this stalker thing is creepy. at least gimme a hint, cause i dont trust that i know you. how do i know you? what grade are you in? were you/are you one of my friends? what are ur initials? what school? read the other comment . thats from my sis, who can kick ur ass without so much as a hello. so fuckin knock it off, aight?

my friend kynan is back from germany- yay! and i got accepted to go to the trip to new york for j-term- kick arse! or ass. whatever. do yall know who elvis stojko is? u better. its all about elvis. and the yankees. and sleazy russian pop and techno. etc. so yeah, i have a quiz. ill post it l8r. so im gonna go stress out.

-willow

so anyway, this person who doesn't say who they are is starting to freak me out a bit. stoppit! do i know who you are? or are you just some creepy freaky internet stalker?

in any case, just to let everyone know, the dropkick murphy's are god. or if you're religious, one of the best bands ever! they're up there with the clash, ramones, nirvana, joni mitchell, ani difranco, seven nations, evenescense, goo goo dolls, smashing pumpkins, and the sex pistols. there are so, so many more, but i dont feel like taking hours to write down all of them. i need to see them live man. one of my dreams is to see them live on st. patty's day at the boston garden, if they do that again, which i think they will do.

im not much for hockey. considering i dont really like watching high school hockey, and i dunno. when i was little, dad used to take kate and me to the ice arena to watch hockey practice, i think college hockey. yeah. and we watched a game or two, a few times, back in manchester. now were in bemidji, and ugh! its just not the same, ya know? but i miss watching it back at the local arena. in any case though, the bruins still rock! one of the best teams ever. i have never seen any sport live- not like major league, or the professional ones. thats the term! but i want to. i have always wanted to see the yankees (yay!!!! we're in the series!!!!!) , the mets, or the boston red sox. man, that'd be a dream come true, ya know?

anyway, i g2g. but invisible flowers and love, ya'll!!!!

i am in a very weird mood. i was at the mall for like a bit, but only that. no thorough shoppage. need to do that. i want to find a skirt. but there's no one to shop with! i hung out with tammy and erin there cause i saw em with sean! i missed him, he rocks. but i dunno. i think its better to shop with guys, cause i dunno, it seems like they'll be more honest, instead of my friends that are girls, who are very polite. besides, when guys say i look nice, it makes me feel special for some reason. ya neez ny-you.

i never really know what to say. ill write again when i do.

go yankees!!!!!!! go sox..... fave team, and close to home team. oy vey

hi yall. so i am not quite so freakazoid today. no running around in underwear that is. lucky you... its weird though, when you're watching little giants and tears run down your face. 2wice! damn it to fuck. matt when you read this, stop it!!!!! i am quite serious that i need to lose weight.

im beginning to dislike windows at night. my face morphs into another's. creepy man. ya know, i wish that i was actually pretty. i mean i know i can be a bit on occassion, but i really wish i was beautiful. i dunno. i wish that i could be far away and magically be as beautiful as......i dunno. christina ricci maybe. someone. i wish i was someone.

going to stop with that. i miss ice skating. i used to want to win the olympic gold medal in it. i wish someone just would kidnapp me for my birthday for that. but my skates dont fit me anymore. i think they are 6 1/2's and im a 7. i dont know. there are so many things.......but i have to get off
-jessie

wow, i feel like i dont matter. letsee, matt calls me a witch, and i kick him and then i try to give him a hug, cause hes my best friend, and he tells me to get off him. i feel the love, o yeah. little fucking jerk. no one really seems to care. or they do cause they're pissed off at me, and i never know why. people let me sit by while they are talking, but they wont talk to me- they just leave me out of it.

i recorded my voice on this comp, and it sux ass. i sound nothing like what i hear when i talk. like at all! now i understand why nikki lost interest in the band. o! and i havent gotten my ticket yet, so still freakin out. but the rents let me drive today. i need to lose weight, and yet i had a choc. milkshake for lunch. im gonna try fasting. only water man. only h2o ness. music class now

there was a college fair today at bsu. twas pretty awesome, actually, despite the fact that there were only colleges from mn, wi, the dakotas, and canada. no one from ne or, anywhere else, only the midwest. but manitoba and macalaster looked like good last resorts if i dont get into any other decent college.

o yeah. mark, u rock. thanks a lot for the comment thingie on my page. made life a bit less hellish. and who wrote the other note? if i know ya, please write who ya are, otherwise i get hella confused.

i just said hella. oy freakin vey! people said that a lot at russian camp, but not many say it here. i must be going through withdrawl
or im just insane

laura's home! havent seen her yet, but shes home cause her dad's on oxygen. ;....( her dads awesome. im sad....i dont want him to die, and im worried about laura and her mom. but kate and me are gonna try and get her to come to the shannon murray concert on saturday. kates home tomorrow!!! yayyayayayayyayyyy. if she speaks too much pirate im gonna hit her though. lol!

well, im trying to download russian text on my comp and it isnt working. grr! i have to get back to homework and resume though.

i might lose my driver's liscense. i did not know that if a bus in one lane, when it has its stop sign out, that the person in the opposite lane was required to stop. i had thought that it was just warning people that it was stopped, so you won't pass someone or so you will be careful. but i went in to turn into the parking lot at school and this guy in his black car told me to roll down the windows, and hes all- did u see the stop sign- i was confused so i explained ^ that and he said that you actually have to stop. i was all shit!!!!!! in my mind, and hes all, are you going to park there? pointing to the parking lot. and im like yeah, and he came back and he asked for my liscense, and im all ok, cause im freakin out. it was just some regular guy in a black ish car. mom thinks he was an undercover cop, but i didnt see any badge when he asked for it. he went back to his car and i thought that he was gonna call the cops on me! but he came back and hes all, ok jessica, and he told me that a ticket would be sent to me through the mail. he said he didnt know if i would lose my liscence or not! so i called mom and she called the school even thoughi was in my car in the parking lot. i did get my liscence back, btw. but i just sat there and freaked out in the car for a while, then went to math. i told abby and she said that i shouldnt worry about it, that i cannot get my liscence taken away for that- it has to be a major thing like an accident. some of my friends have had accidents, and still have their liscence and it hasnt been taken away! and their my age. but im so scared, just so, so scared.

Tazo Iced green tea is holy fuck good, man! yeah. take back the night is tonight, but it seems as if all of my friends whom i thought cared about this problem that the world has, dont care at all. I dunno. I thought my friends were all, go feminism, and totally anti- abuse, but today it seems like the people that I thought actually cared pretty strongly, dont seem to care at all.Like grrrrr!!!!!! im getting so fucking pissed off. Sophie, for one, if she actually wants to do something, she will find a way, instead of saying "o, i cant get a ride". she always finds a way for things she cares about. my friend abbi keeps totally blowing me off. shes one of my best friends, and yet she thinks that anything is more important than standing up to abuse and violence that is inflicted on women and children. mostly anyway. violence towards anyone. But she thinks that a "study-date" with ryan is more important than standing up to people dying and getting beaten and raped because of abuse. shit man! i thought these people cared! the only other person i know who is going is abby. im starting to want to give these people a mental slap! its idiotic! abbi all day has been blowing me off, not just about take back the night, but grrr. i say hi, and she walks past to talk to ryan. o well. guess another friend is gonna slip away. most of them do, most of the people that i trust all start to slip away. maybe its just me. there's something wrong with me. i tried to ignore it, but ive always known that there has been. maybe people are just embarressed to be seen with me because im and idiot, because im so fucking horrendously ugly. with bad spelling.

shit!n i shouldnt have given dein money. im not gonna have enough for a t shirt tonight. fucking hell! and dein keeps saying that matts an asshole, and saying shit about him. i got so pissed off because of that. matt keeps avioding me too. all of this shit, i feel like everything is falling apart, and i cant stop it. i dont know anymore. but i must keep up the happy appearance. im getting good at lying, and pretending im happy, lol.