yayy!!! i get my hair dyed tomorrow. it may be 2 colours, but its better than three. so yeah. my finger still hurts a lotalot, but at least my tummy and head dont anymore. people need to not let me eat burger king. happens everytime. psh and such. ya know before mister craig of craigness, i dont remember saying psh all that much. ;P . neenerhead. o well, i suppose it could be worse.

so....no one really is on. it makes me sad. only matt is on, and he rocks, but thats about it. im all alone!!!! (sob). yayyyyy! tomorrow is friday!!!!! does anyone want to do anything? all i have to do is getting my hair dyed at 3:45. then im bored, lol. ooo nevermind i have to hit the mall. grr. but my outfit shall kick ass tomorrow if i dont freeze. im bringing blankets. hahahaahahaaa.

so.....i have to get off. and im exceedingly tired. merffers, so i shall get off. love, flowers, etc

zhannichka

yayyyyy! and owwwwww!!! so, ive had a splinter in my finger since yesterday, and it hurts a lotalot. like non stop. o well. so friday, im gonna wear my skanky boots. thats right, i own skanky boots. hehehehheheee. that makes me happy. know what else does? being warm. that would be a good thing, but i highly doubt that it will happen. o, so yeah, i left craig's mittens in craig's car, i just realized that. heehee. so that sounds weird, but its not, , see not in my mind, even though i pointed out that it did sound weird. ok, so im a bit weird. is that a bad thing?

so i have to get offline. no one is talking to me, i feel unwanted and sad. o well, lol

love and flowers and such

-zhanna

so apparently the only two rooms in the entire school that are heated are the science room and the fishbowl. it kind of sucks. i nearly wrote socks. i like socks- they are spiffers. so, lacey's bumble-bee tuna is still written on the window in purple. im not entirely sure why she wrote it, but then again, i am rarely sure on the meaning of things. like, ever.

everything is exceedingly confusing today. and im not sick, dont worry. hungry, yes; sick, no. and i know that im not alone, it just feels like it sometimes, especially when im sad or pissed off. i cant really feel my fingers right now, so its weird to type. i have a scooby-doo bandaid on my finger, on account of the fact that i sliced it open by way of my notebook. really deep for a papercut. at least for me. hurts like hell. or at least it did. wow, im really hungry, and yet i ate a lil piece of spinach quiche for breakfast, and i rarely eat breakfast. grr!

im rebelling against grant's music. he keeps playing bad pop music- aka justin timberlake. so im playing little miss can't be wrong by the spin doctors. good song. ochen good song. that would rock if i could play guitar on that song. but i suck at playing music, as well as russian, french, and other languages, even though i love music and languages. so there is apparently a fashion designer from new york here to give a presantation or something at 1 pm, so im gonna go and miss some of music. then ill just have ap bio, and then done! yayyyy!!!! actually, i like desgining clothes. im really good at dresses, or at least people say i am. nikki says that i can design her wedding dress. i still maintain that she needs to be old enough to drink. but no, she has to be 20. o well, at least she says i will be legally old enough to drink. not that its really important, because im not really into drinking.

so, its all about saving entires so you dont delete them- i wrote that during school earlier. but i am tired so i shall get off.

love and flowers

nitenite

-zhannichka

my throat hurts. but im not sick, its just what happens when one screams. ooo fighting is fun. its all good now though. im happier. hmmmmm....heehee. i have tinsel in my room. i want to get some christmas lights though, that would rock.

oy vey, more holly-daisies are coming. the winter ones. kinda festive and fun, but on the other hand, boring and shut inside alone. yay and grr at the same time. then its j-term, and then its my birthday. oy freakin vey! i feel so alone kinda. screaming does that. makes people sad and alone and freaked. im kinda weird i freak a lot.

im gonna get off now, but ill write later when i can put ideas into words better. phones are goodness

love, flowers, and the like.

-zhanna

god dammit

i hate it when i write something, no matter how much nonsense it is, and it doesnt save it. that makes my day so much worse. i am exceedingly saddened. i did see timeline today however. that was the one and only good point. of the entire day. i sorta had fun with nikki, but i once again did not find a dress that i absolutely love. ill probably get that blue one in deb that made me actually look skinny. semi-skinny at least. i dunno. i wish it was red. but no, had to be dark blue.

i helped out at the flower shop today. heehee flowers are pretty-ful. specially the daisies and all the roses. nikki said i need to get flowers for formal, but im reallyreally clueless. and i want to cry. kinda. but not. im so damn bored its so frustrating. and most of the dresses i tired on made me look unbelievably fat. like 100 times worse than what i usually think i am. dammit i hate having no self-esteem. it sucks! see, im really angry. damn it all to hell. if there is such a place. its probably one big dress store that has nothing pretty, red, and in my size. at all. provided there is such a place as hell.

see, i attempt to be cheery and it just goes downhill. maybe because im super tired.or maybe perhaps its because im actually accepting reality. or maybe its just being an egelhof. which i hate. that name is so icky! my name is icky. as is my nose. i looked in the mirror when dress shopping with nikki and ryan, and i was all holy shit! what happened to my nose!? in any case, if people dont like the way i am then ffeh. im an egelhof, and therefore exceedingly cynical, and ya'll just have to live with that. hmph!

in any case, i am in serious need of sleep

i need warmth

i need weight loss

i need happy-ness happy

i need joy

i need this weekend to end. friggen holly-daisies

love and flowers

zhanna

so i wrote something yesterday, most of which was nonsense, but apparently i didnt post it. grr. anyway, yesterday during music we watched finding nemo.....yeah, that was it. for school anyways. after school was ochen funners. man, i miss skating, i think i need to do that soon. aaaaa. ....!

so its 8:40 in the morning, you can't expect that much of my brain in the way of writing skills, spelling, actual thinking. lol. today is macarah's birthday, as well as tammy's, so today im gonna meet erin, jesse, tammy, etc at applebee's at like 5:45 today. yay! i cant wait for monday though, because its like tradition for my dad and me to fight and me to get grounded. i dont try to make this happen, but it never fails. and dad is coming home tonight i think, so he's going to be pretty stressed out as it is. and then he'll decide that i look like crap and tell me to dress better and that i need to lose weight again. o well, not like i dont agree with him, it just hurts when your dad tells you that, or implies it even. ugh, im getting freaked out over something that hasn't happened for a few months......yet.

my sister is coming home today, which makes me happy. i hope she's in a good mood. shes getting a ride from tyler, and i think that stuart is coming down with them as well. ive only met tyler once, but he seems pretty nice. quiet though. i dunno. anyways.....

i hope this weekend doesnt suck as badly as most of the other ones in recent years. but it will be boring. sitting at my house......yay.... i have to find stuff for the garage sale though, so digging in the basement might be rather fun. i have so much stuff that i havent thrown away. o my god! stupid ninth graders! aaaaa!. k craig, if you want to whitewash these ones, you have my full approval. they wont shut up and they're so bitchy, talking shit about people just because they paid more attention to someone else- ugh!.....ok so i rant too, but at least i dont call people really mean names.....unless if its as a joke or im being a bitch, and they deserve it. maybe i need to be dunked in the snow and made miserable. but im not like that 24/7! these ones are!

so.....anyways, enough of my bitchy rants- and i am a bitch sometimes, you cant deny that. so do you know whats nasty? waterless hand soap stuff that plum has in here. eeewww (shudder,shudder) its creepy. aaaa run away!

so, presumably im going to formal. most likely, since my mom said its fine with her, havent talked to dad yet. its kinda weird, bhs formal. what exactly is going on there? in any case, i need to find a dress, unless for some odd reason, i wear jeans......probably very unlikely. this entry is getting kinda long, lol o well, im bored

merff, my back hurts. again. o well, cant do anything about it. i cant wait for tonight, and then for monday, because that means the weekend is over- yayyy!!!! i dont really like thanksgiving. well, when it is with all my family in new york, and there are tons of us, its kinda fun. because i also go shopping. i know!!! im addicted!!! o well, im addicted to quite a few things. especially hugs. especially ones from certain people (wink,wink).

ok, so back to the dress issue, there is nothing on the internet. grrr. so, shopping anyone? lol, i know, i know....so. back th psych. note my joy.....(that was sarcasm, btw). i dont really have anything important to say. ill shut up now

love and flowers

-zhannichka

so, yesterday sucked ass. i was stuck inside all day, (though being on the phone made it less horrific), and when im stuck inside all day i get all twitchy and such. and i just want to scream and i cant so im alll aaa but not cause i cant and its so weird and im so bored and its all i dunno. twitchy.

we're watching this thing in psychology about 4? people, i think munson said who have disorders, and now this guy is going to have a lobotomy. aaaaa!!!! hes awake!!!!eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe o god make it stop!!!!!! gods, dead people i can handle, but not living ones. its kind of ironic that i have this class directly before lunch. (shudder, shudder)

k, now they are only doing shock therapy, its all good. no more drilling in the brain. ugh.

ok, its all good. thai noodles are nummy-ness. i want to go skating, but i cant, cause i have school-yay.......(sarcasm). so yeah.....today is all weirdness.......i dunno, its weird. note the weirdness. i cant wait for the concert, it sounds so kick-arse. but they're blasting the music. o!!! i have to get off and see about contacts. merff and whatnot
love and flowers
-zhanna

i cant take this anymore. i hate essays, i can put things into words, even though i know it. i actually understand it. and yet its just so incredibly hard. ugh!!!!! its so frustrating. and then these people keep talking and talking and they wont shut up even though they still have yet to finish the test as well. and then i have so much overdue stuff that keeps piling up so fast. its so incredibly overwhelming. and i really do need to stop saying the word “so” . im betting its getting really really annoying, huh?

aight, new class....philo.....so many assignments.......must do tonight, after i go to bhs (evilevil, lol) , guitar, CHINESE FOOD IS WONDERFUL GOODNESS!!!!!!!, and then i get home. yayyy......... so.....yeah
....silly silly mormon seth, saying go nietzche-ism after the quote "god is dead". lol. yeah. so im kinda bored and out of it. heehee....but happy bored. man, its all about having one of your favorite movies in your bag magically. i didnt put it in there and yet today during lunch i got the chance to watch "sleepless in seattle". yes, i like that movie. the queen of all chick flicks. lol. im weird.

last days make me happy heeeheehee. poisoned takes a really long time to download things. aaaa my back keeps cracking!!! make it stop!!!!!. (scowls) my socks have rats!!! socks and rats are yayyyy goodness. hmmm.

so, i dont have all that much to write. other than i need shoes........black high heels that arent platforms- i like being short......usually. . open -toed preferable, size 7, or 7 1/2. let me know if anyone sees any. anyways, love and flowers

zhanna

i don't undertand the point of playing hacky. like when they say "lets get a hack in" it sounds like they're talking about hacking up a hairball or something. i think i need like a new memory chip or something. ya neez ny-you. i wish school was over .......i dunno. immmmm sooooo tttiiirreedd........gah.

o so, the people who are going on the new york trip for j-term, including me, are having a garage sale in early december. we are taking donations uhhh..... starting yesterday. speaking of which i have to start gathering up my stuff. though ill probably buy more stuff too and totally cancel out the giving it away. merff.

damn unit circle thingiemajiggers to hell. if there is such a place. i dont really know right now.

im so confused, on almost everything. note the almost. heehee. lol, yeah. today is such a blah day. ack.

my hands look like i murdered someone, lol. yay for acrylic paints!!!!! rock on. so yeah........ i need to stop playing kevin the space penguin. oy. and text twist. evilevil ness. anyway

love and flowers

zhannichka

heeheeee. im a happyhappy person. and a luckylucky girl. emode can be evil in its sucking you into its depths. like a swirling vortex of hell. much like text twist.

im cold right now. and yeah. i need warmth
im tired too. nitenite